💘 Valentine's Day Joke of the Day

My ideal Valentine's Day date involves candlelight and soft music...

...which is just me eating pizza in the dark so I don't have to share, and my neighbors are playing their bass too loud.

Are you a library book?

Because I'm totally *checking you out* this Valentine's Day... and I hope there aren't any overdue fines on my heart!

Are you a Valentine's pizza?

Because you've got a pizza my heart!

Why did Cupid go to art school?

Because he wanted to learn how to draw hearts!

Valentine's Day always has everyone scrambling for the perfect romantic gesture, like a huge bouquet of flowers.

Me? I just buy myself a potted plant. It lasts longer, and I don't have to pretend it's from a secret admirer.

Are you a bouquet of flowers?

Because you take my breath away... and also make me sneeze uncontrollably.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Or should I walk by again? I think I forgot where I parked.

Why did the musician give their loved one a drum for Valentine's Day?

Because they wanted to make their heart beat for them!

They say Valentine's Day is all about celebrating 'great love stories.'

Mine involves me, my couch, and a truly epic streaming marathon. It's the most committed relationship I've ever had.