Dad Joke Daily by the Numbers

Knock knock. Who's there? Isabelle.

Isabelle who? Isabelle necessary, or can I just walk right in?

I'm trying to start a band, but it's a treble-making process.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger...

...then it hit me.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

I was feeling pretty sleepy this morning after staying up late last night. My son asked me why I looked so tired as I was pouring my coffee.

I told him, 'I guess I'm just feeling a little *depresso*!'

I went to the orchard and saw an apple tree with a ladder leaning against it.

I guess it wanted to take its fruit to a higher level.

I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of bread dough.

She said, "That's a waist of good bread!"

I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

I guess you could say it was having a paws-itive correlation between its eyesight and its purr-manent blindness.

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.