My boomer dad told me, 'You gotta network!'

My network is a WhatsApp group for finding free furniture on the street.

My therapist told me I need to 'do the work' on myself.

I told her I already have a full-time job and two side hustles.

My company is now offering 'wellness workshops' to combat burnout.

They're scheduled for 7 AM, before my actual workday starts.

My boomer parents told me to just save up for a house.

I told them I'm saving up for a time machine to buy one at their prices.