I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

I guess you could say it was having a paws-itive correlation between its eyesight and its purr-manent blindness.

I'm having a grape time at the wine festival, it's a crushing experience.

So I was at the library the other day, and I saw a book about eggs that really caught my eye. The cover was pretty ordinary, but the title was what really made me crack a smile.

It was an egg-cellent read.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!