Our company's 'no meeting day' was so popular that

management decided to schedule a meeting to discuss how well it's going

My CEO just told everyone, 'We're a family here!'

I immediately checked my organ donor status.

I'm trying to save for a down payment on a house

but so far I've only managed to save enough for a decent Craigslist couch

I've been trying to practice mindfulness in therapy

but I keep finding myself pondering existential dread during meditation instead of my breath