My dad's garage is so well-organized, he can find anything in it

except his social life

I asked my dad what his greatest superpower was.

He paused, thought for a moment, and said, "Making sure you always felt loved, even when I was just telling you to turn off the lights."

For Father's Day, I asked my dad if he wanted me to make him breakfast.

He said, 'Nah, I already grilled the bacon and mowed the lawn by 7 AM. I'm just getting started.'

I got my dad a new smart thermostat for Father's Day, thinking it would finally put an end to his temperature tinkering.

Now he just complains that the future isn't warm enough.