Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

He wanted to improve his bite

Why did Frankenstein's monster get kicked out of the library?

Because he kept reanimating the classics.

Why did the goblin go to the career counselor?

Because it wanted to find a job that was a good fit for its skill set and didn't involve hiding under bridges all day.

Why did the trick-or-treater cross the road?

To get to the other sweet side!