Why did the Creature from the Black Lagoon get rejected for a mortgage?

The bank said he didn't have enough liquid assets, and they were worried about his water damage history!

Why did the ghost have trouble at the ATM?

Because he kept phasing right through the keyboard!

What did the trick-or-treater say when the vampire opened the door?

Fangs for the candy!

What's a vampire's favorite fruit?

A neck-tarine!