I've been dating a girl who's a talented baker, and she's always trying to get me to rise to the occasion.

But honestly, I think she's just kneading the attention.

My neighbor asked if I could help her with her garden project last weekend. She wanted me to get down low, handle something long and stiff, really work it back and forth, and then help her get it standing straight up.

She was trying to build a new trellis for her climbing roses.

My girlfriend wanted to try role-playing in bed last night.

I told her I'd be the mailman, but she'd have to wait outside naked and I'd just leave the package on the porch.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to try some 'kinky stuff' in the bedroom last night. She pulled out a blindfold, some ropes, and a feather duster.

I asked her, 'So, are we having sex, or are you just finally going to clean that dust bunny under the bed that's been watching us?'