My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more spontaneous in bed.

So I just started shouting 'SURPRISE!' every time I came.

My piano teacher told me I needed to work on my fingering.

I said, "I'm trying, but not on a keyboard."

What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A man will actually look for a golf ball.

My piano teacher told me I needed to really 'finger' the keys with more passion, get my 'rhythm' just right, and make the whole piece build up to a powerful 'climax'.

I think he just wants me to practice my sonata.