Dirty Joke of the Day

My girlfriend told me our sex life was getting a little stale, and she wanted me to try something new and exciting.

My new pottery instructor told me I need to be more sensitive with my hands.

My new masseuse told me I was too tense.

My girlfriend recently told me she wanted me to put more effort into our love life. She said she was tired of me just going straight for it and finishing too quickly.

My neighbor asked if I could come over and help her out. She said she had a really stubborn patch in her garden that just wouldn't get wet enough, no matter how much she tried to work it herself. She really needed a big, strong man to come over, get it good and soft, and then jam something long and hard right in there.

My neighbor called me this morning, frantic. She said she couldn't get it to go up, no matter how much she tried to pump it herself. She really needed a big, strong man to come over and give it a good working over until it was really stiff and full.