My computer was acting up the other day, and I was getting pretty frustrated with how slow it was running. I called my friend who's a computer expert to see if he could help me figure out what was wrong with it.

He told me it was probably just having a bad byte.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged

Your mom asked me to try and fix the coffee maker this morning, because it was really slow and sputtering. I tinkered with it for a bit, but it just wouldn't cooperate.

I guess it was still trying to perk up.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!