What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

I went to the bakery and saw a pie with a face on it

It was a pie-oneer in facial recognition

I was trying to start a garden in my backyard, but I was having trouble getting the seeds to grow. I checked the soil, the sunlight, and the watering schedule, but nothing seemed to be working. I decided to consult with a gardening expert, who told me the problem was

I wasn't planting the seeds deep enough, I guess you could say I wasn't getting to the root of the problem.

I went to the orchard and saw an apple tree with a ladder leaning against it.

I guess it wanted to take its fruit to a higher level.