I took my car into the shop the other day because it was making a weird knocking sound under the hood. The mechanic spent a long time listening carefully and checking all the hoses and belts.

He said he needed to do some intensive car-diology.

I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

I guess you could say it was having a paws-itive correlation between its eyesight and its purr-manent blindness.

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two tired!

I was trying to help your mom put together this new bookshelf she bought online. The instructions were really complicated, and it had about a million little pieces.

After an hour of struggling, she threw her hands up and said, 'I just can't make sense of it!' I said, 'Well, honey, sometimes you just have to *shelf* your frustrations for a bit and try again!'