Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two tired!

I was trying to get my kids to eat more vegetables, so I took them to the garden to show them where they come from.

Now they're rooted in their refusal to eat them.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

We were on a road trip last weekend, driving through some farmlands. My son pointed out a huge bull in a field, fast asleep under a big oak tree, and asked me what I thought it was doing.

I said, 'Well, if it's sleeping, then it's a bulldozer!'