I told my wife she was going to start a tree-mendous gardening career

but she just wanted to branch out and try something new

I took my kids to the dentist, and we saw a toothbrush with a badge on it

I guess it was a 'brush' with the law

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised

I've been trying to organize my spice rack...

It's taking a lot of my thyme.