My bike is always tired because it's two-tired.

So, I was at the bakery this morning, picking up some fresh bread for breakfast. The baker was telling me about how early he has to start every day to get everything ready.

I guess he really kneads his job.

So, I was organizing the pantry the other day, going through all the dried fruit. I picked up a bag of prunes and couldn't help but notice how... well, seasoned they looked.

I almost asked them about their life story, but I figured they'd just give me a dry one.

I tried to write a pun about a broken pencil, but it was pointless.