What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry!

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a person building an enormous sandcastle with towers and a moat. The kids were fascinated by the details and started asking the builder about their design process. I asked the person how they managed to make their castle so sturdy, and they said

it was a grain of experience

My son was helping me in the garden yesterday, and he dug up a bunch of really old, cracked pots. He asked me what we should do with all of them.

I told him we should just plant some thyme in them.