I asked my dad what he truly wanted for Father's Day this year.

He just sighed dramatically and said, "Peace and quiet... and someone to stop touching the thermostat."

My dad's idea of retirement is

having enough time to finish all the projects he's been putting off until the weekend

I got my dad a personalized weather station for Father's Day, thinking it would satisfy his obsession with forecasting the weather.

Now he just complains that the actual weather isn't following his forecast.

I once asked my dad how he always knew the way home, even before GPS existed.

He just winked and said, 'It's easy. I always know the way back to you kids.' And that's the best navigation system a dad can have.