I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into traveling' and 'loves trying new cultures'

But his passport had exactly two stamps: Cabo and his parents' timeshare in Orlando

I saw a guy's Instagram story where he posted a photo of his homemade breakfast with the caption 'cooking for one'

which is just code for 'I'm trying to convince you I'm a functioning adult but really I just microwaved an egg'

I finally blocked out an hour for 'self-care' last night.

I spent 15 minutes trying to find the right guided meditation on YouTube, 20 minutes wondering if my face mask was expired, and the last 25 minutes stress-cleaning my bathroom before I could relax.

This guy's dating app bio said he was a 'hopeless romantic.'

Turns out, he was just hopeless at romance, because his big move was sending me a TikTok on 'how to make her obsessed with you.'