So I was at the museum with my kids, and we saw an exhibit on ancient Egypt. The kids were fascinated by the mummies and the pyramids, and we started learning about pharaohs and their tombs. I asked the tour guide if they had found any interesting artifacts recently

and he said they had uncovered a lot of old 'wrap'!

I told my kids we were going to a grape concert

but it was just a bunch of wine singers

Why did the piano get in trouble at school?

Because it kept key-ing off its classmates.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!