I asked my dad why he still has my old report cards and sports trophies from when I was a kid, and he said

it's not that he's proud of my grades or my athletic skills, but because they're the only things I haven't borrowed money from him to pay for.

My dad says his garage isn't messy; it's a carefully curated archaeological dig site.

He knows exactly where the chisel from '87 is, but can't find his car keys from five minutes ago.

My dad always keeps the house so cold, you need a parka to grab a snack.

So for Father's Day, I got him a blanket, and when he shivered and said, 'I'm cold,' I replied, 'Hi Cold, I'm Dad!'

I tried to teach my dad how to use the smart home speaker for Father's Day.

Now, instead of just asking for the weather, he politely says, 'Alexa, please tell me the forecast,' and always thanks it afterwards. He said, 'It's just good manners, son.' And you know what? He's right.