My dad's neighbors think he's a professional landscaper

but really he just has a lot of free time and a riding lawn mower

My dad's idea of retail therapy...

...is walking through the hardware store, picking up random bolts and muttering, 'I'll need this someday.'

My dad's garage is so organized,

he can find a screw from 1992 faster than I can find my car keys.

I got my dad a smart thermostat for Father's Day, thinking it would put an end to his temperature tinkering.

Now he just complains that the future isn't warm enough.