He told me he was 'super busy' and 'just couldn't commit to anything serious right now.'

But judging by his Instagram stories, he seemed to have plenty of time to perfectly arrange six different artisanal cheeses on a charcuterie board for himself.

My biggest life goal isn't buying a house or traveling the world.

It's finding a pair of women's jeans with pockets deep enough that my phone doesn't look like it's trying to make a daring escape every time I sit down.

He told me he was looking for a 'low-maintenance' woman.

Honey, if 'low maintenance' means I don't need you to hang a shelf, then yes, I am *incredibly* low maintenance. Because I already bought the drill and did it myself.

I love how some self-care apps let you track your progress and set reminders to practice mindfulness

Because what's more relaxing than having an app yell at you for not meditating enough?