He said on his dating app bio that he was 'tired of the games' and 'ready for something real.'

Then his opening message was 'You up?' with a GIF of a dog wearing sunglasses.

I've started using a dating app where you have to answer a questionnaire to find your perfect match

Now I know exactly what I'm looking for in a partner: someone who can handle 47 pages of my emotional baggage and still think I'm a catch

I swear some guys on dating apps say they want a 'low-maintenance' woman.

But then expect her to show up looking like she just finished a photoshoot. Honey, my 'low-maintenance' look involves dry shampoo and a prayer.

When I'm having a bad day, I don't just mope around.

I find the nearest window, gaze out pensively at nothing, and patiently wait for the rain to start, because every great character arc needs a 'staring out the window while it rains' scene.