Why did the head elf always carry a ruler around the toy workshop?

To make sure everything was made to *elf-act* specifications.

Why did the menorah and the Christmas tree go to therapy together?

They had a lot of burning issues and needed to branch out for support.

Why did the gingerbread cookie go to the Christmas party?

Because it was a snap decision!

Why did Santa get an assistant?

He was tired of claus-trophobia in his office.