I love how marriage is all about finding common ground

now my wife and I both agree that the other person is hogging the blankets

I remember [Groom's Name] once told me he was looking for someone who would complete him.

Now that he's found [Bride's Name], I think he's realized 'completing him' mostly involves knowing where he left his keys and reminding him to take out the recycling.

I used to think 'finding yourself' was a journey of self-discovery.

Then I got married and realized it's mostly a journey of finding the remote control after my wife's been using it.

I asked the happy couple how they knew they were meant to be together

They said it was love at first sight, but I think it was just because they both swiped right