Why did my true love get me a gift receipt instead of the actual presents from 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'?

Because returning nine ladies dancing and ten lords a-leaping is a logistical nightmare.

Why did the North Pole factory implement a "bring your pet to work" day?

The elves needed some re-indeer-forcement.

Why did Santa's elves start a union at the North Pole?

Because they wanted to Claus for better working conditions

What did the grape say when it got stepped on at the holiday party?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine and said it was having a crush-ing Christmas.