What's Santa's favorite type of music?

Wrap music!

What's the real 'Polar Express' for most parents on Christmas morning?

The express trip from their bed to the coffee maker.

Why did Santa get an assistant?

He was tired of claus-trophobia in his office.

Why did Santa's elves start a North Pole wellness program?

Because they needed to work through some Claus-trophobic issues.