My therapist said I need to validate my own emotions.

So my emotions validated that I needed another nap.

I'm trying to follow the classic boomer advice to 'invest in real estate'

but the only property I can afford is a timeshare in my parents' basement

My parents told me to 'just pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

My boots are from Target and the straps broke two months ago.

I told my manager I was feeling burned out from all the 'optional' overtime

and they said I just needed to 'want it more' – I'm starting to think they want me to want a stress leave