They told me to get a side hustle.

Now I have three 'main' hustles and I'm still broke.

I've got three side hustles just to afford my main job's commute.

I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in

My manager told me to 'optimize my passion' for the company.

But honestly, my only passion right now is optimizing my sleep schedule.