My dad's idea of retirement is

spending 40 hours a week in the garage, but now he's getting paid in satisfaction instead of a paycheck.

My dad insists his BBQ isn't just a cooking appliance.

He calls it a 'precision meat delivery system' that requires at least three separate thermometers and a spirit level.

My dad's idea of a relaxing weekend is

spending 5 hours in the garage, only to emerge with a slightly cleaner workbench and a list of 12 new projects to start

My dad always says, 'A project well begun is half done.'

Which explains why most of his home improvement projects are still in the 'tool organization' phase.