I've been trying to practice mindfulness in therapy

but I keep finding myself pondering existential dread during meditation instead of my breath

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update

but my manager said that would 'kill the synergy' – code for 'I love hearing myself talk'.

I'm trying to buy a house, but the market is crazy

I've got a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a mortgage with a payment that's less than my student loan

My therapist told me I need to be more present.

So I opened a new tab on my phone to Google 'mindfulness techniques' during our session.