I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.

So I was at the library studying for an exam, and I stumbled upon a book about the history of eggs. I cracked it open to learn more, and let me tell you, it was a real page-turner.

Because it was an egg-cellent read.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.