What's Kevin McCallister's favorite Christmas carol?

All I Want For Christmas Is My House To Be Empty!

What did the Christmas tree say to the Christmas tree decorator?

You're always stringing me along, but I'm pining for a simpler look this year.

What do you call a reindeer with bad manners?

Deer-respectful

Why did Santa's reindeer start a complaint at the North Pole?

Because they felt their workload was deer-pressing and wanted some paws-itive change.