So, I was trying out a new recipe for dinner last night, and let's just say it didn't quite go as planned. I ended up burning everything to a crisp, and the smoke alarm was practically screaming at me.

It was an *oven*-tful evening, to say the least!

So I was at the coffee shop this morning, and the barista accidentally spilled some coffee all over the counter. He looked really flustered and apologized profusely.

I told him not to worry, because sometimes you just gotta *espresso* yourself.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!