I'm addicted to placebos — I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference.

I went to the doctor and said I had a problem with my ears.

He said, 'Don't worry, it's just a hollow feeling.'

I was trying to learn a new song on my guitar the other day, spending hours practicing. My fingers were really starting to hurt from pressing down on all those strings and trying to get the melody just right.

It was quite a fretting experience!

So I was at the coffee shop with my kids, and we noticed that the barista was having a hard time keeping up with all the orders. She was moving around quickly, but still seemed a bit frazzled. I asked her if she was feeling a little

buzzed