Why did the Christmas tree apply for a job?

Because it wanted to branch out.

Why are Christmas lights such great comedians?

Because they always know how to lighten the mood!

What's an elf's favorite type of music?

Wrap music!

Why did my true love get me a gift receipt instead of the actual presents from 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'?

Because returning nine ladies dancing and ten lords a-leaping is a logistical nightmare.