I've been doing the work in therapy to develop healthier coping mechanisms,

but so far, my go-to coping mechanism is just telling people I'm doing the work in therapy.

My therapist asked me what my five-year plan was.

I told her, 'Survive and maybe afford therapy for another five years?'

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update,

but my manager said that would undermine the 'synergy' we create by all staring at each other in silence for 15 minutes.

I asked my boomer dad for housing advice

He said 'just save up and put 20% down', which is like telling me to 'just buy a unicorn and ride it to work'