My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

I've been trying to develop a self-care routine in therapy

But so far, it just consists of apologizing to my plants for neglecting them

They told me to get a side hustle.

Now I have three 'main' hustles and I'm still broke.

My manager told us, 'we're a family here.'

So I asked for an advance on my inheritance, and he said, 'Let's circle back on that.'