You know what they say about Thanksgiving dinner

It's the one time of year where we gather around the table and pretend to like each other's cooking.

Why did the cranberry sauce stop in the middle of the road?

Because it was a jam!

I was going to ask the turkey for its opinion on the Thanksgiving menu...

...but I figured it would just give me a lot of gobble-dygook.

Thanksgiving at our house is always a test of endurance.

First, you survive the family gossip, then you survive the tryptophan.