I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner — it was just gathering dust.

So I was at the garden center with my kids, and we saw a beautiful display of flowers and plants. The kids were amazed by all the different colors and smells, and we started learning about the different types of blooms. I asked the gardener what his favorite flower was to grow, and he said it was

the pick of the bunch

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged