I took my cat to the vet because it was having some issues with its whiskers

The vet said it was just a purr-manent condition

So I was out in the garden trying to plant some new flowers today. I accidentally dug up a whole bunch of old potatoes that had been left in the ground from last year.

I guess you could say it was a real 'spud' awakening!

So, I was organizing the pantry the other day, going through all the dried fruit. I picked up a bag of prunes and couldn't help but notice how... well, seasoned they looked.

I almost asked them about their life story, but I figured they'd just give me a dry one.

I told my wife she was going to be a great musician, but she didn't believe me.

Now she's a maestro of disappointment, but I still think she's a note-worthy singer.