I'm considering buying a house, but the prices are outrageous

I've got a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a mortgage with a payment that doesn't require a second job... or a second lottery win

My manager told us, 'we're a family here.'

So I asked for an advance on my inheritance, and he said, 'Let's circle back on that.'

My boomer parents told me to 'just invest in a diversified portfolio.'

I told them my diversified portfolio is currently four different streaming subscriptions and a crippling student loan.

My manager just scheduled a 'quick sync' to discuss our team's 'bandwidth challenges.'

The only bandwidth challenge I have is how much time I'm spending in meetings about not having time.