I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update,

but my manager said that would undermine the 'synergy' we create by all staring at each other in silence for 15 minutes.

I've been working on my emotional regulation in therapy

Now I can cry about my student loans in a more intentional way

My boomer parents told me to invest in real estate.

Now my single houseplant counts as my entire property portfolio.

My dad told me to save 10% of every paycheck for my future.

Right now, my paycheck *is* 10% of what I need for my present.