My boss told us 'we're a family here,'

which is why I'm always guilt-tripped into doing extra work and can never afford to move out.

I asked my boomer dad for advice on buying a house

He said 'just work harder and cut back on avocado toast', I said 'dad, I'm a freelance writer, my only income is from avocado toast reviews'

I've got three side hustles just to afford my main job's commute.

My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'