I asked my manager why our meeting couldn't have been an email

And they said 'because then we wouldn't have had the opportunity to synergize our thought processes and disrupt the paradigm of traditional communication'

I just got advice from a boomer to 'just buy a smaller house'

like a studio apartment in a desirable neighborhood is just a Honda Civic with a Murphy bed

My therapist told me my inner child needs nurturing.

So I bought a really expensive Lego set.

I just got a raise, but it's basically just an inflation adjustment

So now I can afford last year's lifestyle, congratulations to me