I tried to start a career as a fisherman, but it wasn't going well.

I guess you could say I was having a reel problem.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!

I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of bread dough.

She said, "That's a waist of good bread!"

So I was at the library with my kids, and we stumbled upon a book about different types of rocks and minerals. The kids were fascinated by all the colorful pictures, and we started learning about geodes and crystals. The librarian told us that she had a special rock that was very good at

rock-ing a conversation!