Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

Because it had so many dates!

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two-tired!

So, I was organizing the pantry the other day, going through all the dried fruit. I picked up a bag of prunes and couldn't help but notice how... well, seasoned they looked.

I almost asked them about their life story, but I figured they'd just give me a dry one.