I saw a guy's Instagram story where he called himself a 'free spirit'

but his posts were just 12 identical pictures of his beard from different angles

My male colleague just got promoted for his 'bold vision' and 'strategic foresight.'

And I just got an email praising my 'excellent organizational skills' after I color-coded the entire department's shared drive.

I love buying clothes online.

It's like playing a fun game of 'will this make me look like the model, or a potato wearing a sack?'

I tried to channel my inner 'wellness guru' this morning and started my day with a green smoothie and 15 minutes of journaling.

Then I spent the next hour frantically searching for my car keys, only to find them in the fridge next to the kale.