I walked into a new coffee shop this morning, and the vibe was just right.

So before I even ordered, I meticulously scouted the perfect table for my 'protagonist deep in thought' moment, complete with a dramatic sip and a pensive stare out the window.

I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said he was a 'dog dad' with a 'heart of gold'

But his only photos were of him holding someone else's dog

I went to the DMV to renew my license, but I didn't just wait in line

I was waiting for my cue, rehearsing my lines, and perfecting my 'determined citizen' monologue for when they called my number

My therapist told me I need to find healthy ways to de-stress and just 'be present.'

So I tried a guided meditation, but my brain spent the entire session mentally listing every chore I'd be neglecting by being present.