What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

Why did the piano get in trouble at school?

Because it kept key-ing off its classmates.

I was helping my kids with their science project, trying to grow crystals in a jar. We carefully mixed the solution and waited for what felt like forever for the crystals to form. As we were observing the jar, I started thinking about the process of crystal formation and how it's all about finding the right balance of ingredients and conditions.

I guess you could say it was a 'gem' of a project!

So, I was at the bakery this morning, picking up some fresh bread for breakfast. The baker was telling me about how early he has to start every day to get everything ready.

I guess he really kneads his job.