I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

My new dry shampoo promised to give me 'effortless volume.'

And by 'effortless,' they apparently meant 20 minutes of strategic spraying, head flipping, and frantic finger-combing to achieve that perfect 'just rolled out of bed, but in a cute way' vibe.

Guys always say they want a 'strong, independent woman' who 'knows what she wants.'

Then you actually *tell* them what you want, and suddenly you're 'intimidating' or 'too opinionated.' Pick a lane, fellas.

I've started noticing that guys on dating apps love to claim they're 'foodies'

But when you ask them to recommend a restaurant, they send you a screenshot of a grilled cheese they made in 2018