He told me he was 'a really good cook' on his dating profile, and that he loved making 'gourmet meals.'

Turns out 'gourmet' means microwaving chicken nuggets and serving them on a plate he just rinsed under the tap.

He told me he was looking for a woman with a 'great sense of humor' on his dating profile.

Turns out that just meant someone who laughs at all his *okay* jokes.

I love how some restaurants put 'artisanal' on their menus

like that's supposed to excuse the fact that I'm paying $12 for a grilled cheese sandwich made by a 20-year-old named Chad

I saw a guy's Tinder bio that said 'Dog dad seeking same'

Like, are you looking for a girlfriend or a playdate for your bulldog?