Guys love to put 'fluent in sarcasm' in their dating app bios.

Which I guess is easier than being fluent in, you know, 'replying to texts' or 'asking follow-up questions'.

I was at a coffee shop the other day, meticulously arranging my scarf, latte, and phone to achieve peak 'effortlessly chic' aesthetic.

Meanwhile, my brain was just frantically trying to recall if I turned off the curling iron.

I went on a first date last night, and he said he was really looking for someone 'spontaneous' and 'go-with-the-flow'.

I swear, I spent three hours before that date carefully curating the illusion of spontaneity, right down to my strategically messy hair and the 'just threw this on' outfit I spent an hour picking out.

He put in his profile that he was 'over the drama' and wanted a 'no-fuss, chill' girl.

Then he spent our entire first date explaining why his last four relationships were 'crazy'.